Wednesday, 17 March 2010

Anne Pickles

Happy Mother’s Day, the designer proggy is yours

All fingers and thumbs – every one of them swollen and sore. Ah yes, those were the days. Funny how pain can form so large a part of happy memory.

Last updated 12 March 2010
Published by http://www.cumberlandnews.co.uk

Guess what? The nights are fair drawing out, again

Has spring sprung? This tongue-twister for beginners is a hot topic – or at least a warm one – as daffodils finally stir from the hardest winter in 30 years. I like to think my fascination shows I am in tune with the natural world, preferring to discard the alternative explanation that I have no life.

Last updated 5 March 2010
Published by http://www.cumberlandnews.co.uk

If only we could compete on our ungritted streets

Before the Vancouver Olympics started rudely butting in on perfectly adequate news bulletins, I’d been under the impression luge was a name for a woman who drank too much.Oh but we’re good.

Last updated 26 February 2010
Published by http://www.cumberlandnews.co.uk

A Heaven hotline? There must be something I need

Surprise of the week came yesterday when I discovered – late in the day – I could email God during Lent.

Last updated 19 February 2010
Published by http://www.cumberlandnews.co.uk

There’s a lot to be thankful for in ordinary lives

This is for Agnes, whose friend Margaret will be reading out loud to her today as they share their weekly newspaper coffee morning – because Agnes can’t see well enough to read this column. And it isn’t included in her talking newspaper.

Last updated 12 February 2010
Published by http://www.cumberlandnews.co.uk

Don’t walk on by – that swansong was cry for help

The poor creature hissed and spat like a thing possessed. Never having encountered a demonic swan before, we bolted.

Last updated 5 February 2010
Published by http://www.cumberlandnews.co.uk

Age questionable, but not my views on best bed-mate

There’s another birthday looming any day now. I’ll be going to bed with my handbag.

Last updated 29 January 2010
Published by http://www.cumberlandnews.co.uk

Hold my coat – I’m fighting for all of our fudges

It doesn’t take much to set us off. Dragging leaden feet down the nostalgia route to ruin, we can be away for days.

Last updated 22 January 2010
Published by http://www.cumberlandnews.co.uk

Don’t vaccinate me against that election fever

Rumours that a waiting list is forming for election fever vaccinations have yet to be confirmed or denied at most Cumbrian surgeries and health centres. But the word is definitely out.

Last updated 15 January 2010
Published by http://www.cumberlandnews.co.uk

Community spirit cracking under the weight of ice

Grit boxes were empty the morning big snows returned to layer residential ice fields with more slippy-sliding suicide juice.

Last updated 8 January 2010
Published by http://www.cumberlandnews.co.uk

We all deserve a Hallelujah after surviving 2009

When I called Aly with seasonal good wishes, she told me with customary cheerfulness that she and her sister Heather were rapping to The Messiah.

Last updated 31 December 2009
Published by http://www.cumberlandnews.co.uk

Fear not, there’s only 168 hours of cyber-shopping until the big day

My mum’s wisdom on easing the pressure of Christmas was always the same – and it hasn’t changed to this day.

Last updated 18 December 2009
Published by http://www.cumberlandnews.co.uk

Mary’s Christmas magic brings a tear to the eye

Mary’s face was a picture of disappointment – one might even suspect distress. There was a hint that, in spite of the miracle arrival of her newborn, she may have been about to cry.

Last updated 11 December 2009
Published by http://www.cumberlandnews.co.uk

Don’t forget your breasts during December’s dash

And so it begins. December’s here and officially the time is right for panic-station present shopping, gargantuan meal planning, overdrafts... and misunderstandings.

Last updated 4 December 2009
Published by http://www.cumberlandnews.co.uk

Christmas isn’t cancelled, in fact it’s come early

Christmas in Cumbria this year is the story of a tree – a hastily erected, swiftly decorated, urgently lit tree.

Last updated 27 November 2009
Published by http://www.cumberlandnews.co.uk

‘Flirty’ weather is not really what Cumbrians need

Webbed feet would have been useful. Looking at the forecast, they might still be useful. It’s likely to be a weekend for walkers on water.

Last updated 20 November 2009
Published by http://www.cumberlandnews.co.uk

Remember fallen and raise a glass to those fighting

They didn’t look as though they were especially wayward. But they did look like the kind of girls who soon could be – should they choose to set their minds to it.

Last updated 13 November 2009
Published by http://www.cumberlandnews.co.uk

If veggies inherit earth there’ll be a lot of methane

Scarcely a day goes by without some so-called expert telling us we’re doing something so very wrong that, if we don’t stop immediately, the world will shrink into a dehydrated, deep fried prune, drop into a black hole in space and die.

Last updated 6 November 2009
Published by http://www.cumberlandnews.co.uk

Democracy is a pain in the bum but it is worth it

It is clear now why dictators cut to the chase and skip the middlemen.

Last updated 30 October 2009
Published by http://www.cumberlandnews.co.uk

Lessons in Dizzee Rascal, aliens and being a celebrity!

Generation gaps, I’ve discovered, are defined by perceptions of glamour, fame and celebrity. In other words, you know you’re getting old when you haven’t a clue what kids are talking about.

Last updated 23 October 2009
Published by http://www.cumberlandnews.co.uk

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