Can’t be doing with dogs, peacocks are a bit too showy, I think I’ll stick to my pet pheasants – they’re virtually perfect

Published 9 May 2008

Had it been possible to text a dog for a walk, I might have considered keeping a pet. It seems you can do most things by text now. But not dog-walking – at least not yet.

Offers of matrimony on holiday are best left behind with memories of boats and sea bass

Published 1 May 2008

It’s not what you expect when launching into the first forkful of a splendid alfresco lunch; long awaited, excitedly planned and about to be much enjoyed in warm Venetian holiday sunshine.

Following in footsteps of those legions of well-meaning women who just never could say ‘No’ to their friends

Published 24 April 2008

So, we’re doing it. She’s doing it because she enjoys it – she’s good like that. I’m doing it because I’m a girl who can’t so “No” and she asked me to.

Time to cover over the emperor’s naughty bits

Published 19 April 2008

Award winning columnist Anne Pickles reflects on the non too shocking revelation that bottled water is no better for you than tap water.

Thanks to Jimmy for the memories – but even more grateful thanks are due for their return home to Wigton

Published 10 April 2008

It’s a mystery – and everyone loves a mystery. We know how an albatross on a Pacific coral atoll happened to swallow a Tesco bag. We even know why a man once played golf on the moon. But we’ve no idea how photos from Wigton ended up in Italy.

Raise a glass to Kenny Clipper, an ageless diamond , loved by everyone

Published 3 April 2008

There’s a gathering taking place today. A gathering in a church – moving on to a pub. It’s the kind most commonly referred to as a funeral. But in Kenny’s case, the term funeral sounds all wrong.

Tucked up with a bank holiday lover called Flu as the rumour mill whirls

Published 27 March 2008

I’d already taken to my sick bed when Aly called to thank me for her Easter card and chatter on excitedly about snowball fights in Leeds, children sledging on Otley Chevin and her own plans for building a snowman.

Easter is sweet enough for me, without help from the biscuit bullies

Published 25 March 2008

Given the choice, I’d rather have daffodils. A spray or two of freesia might be nice; a bunch of bossy-headed tulips, frilly petalled narcissi... but I don’t do chocolate.

Threatened changes to our boundaries will see Cumbria and Yorkshire come together as never before – to fight those pesky administrators

Published 13 March 2008

Imagine the horror of falling asleep in Cumbria and waking up in Yorkshire. Through no fault of your own, mind you and with no more than a couple of glasses of damson wine having passed your lips, a new day dawns and you’re suddenly in another county.

There’s always room to learn is one of the best lessons I can take away from a room full of four-year-olds – who already know everything

Published 6 March 2008

They were banging drums, tambourines, triangles, the floor – and singing loudly enough to send any burly Welsh chorister running for Strepsils. She wriggled a bit on her cushion, turned her head and looked straight at me.

Nothing moved for me – but your attack has left me strangely moved to defend my (new) home town and its night-time rumblings, Mr Harvie

Published 28 February 2008

Apparently, the Earth moved but it never woke me – which, were I to be given the option, is probably the way I’d prefer it these days anyway.

From innocuously inert to potential hazard in the time it takes a hoare frost to go soft

Published 21 February 2008

There are times when we must all be tempted to wonder whether we might have turned into health and safety issues. Risks, like Brampton’s confiscated weather vane, wet floors and conker fights.

Carlisle, twinned with Verona in so many ways... if only we had an airport to get there

Published 15 February 2008

I’m fancying another little trip to Verona. Spring’s in the air, a rare treat of warm February sunshine has activated my inspiration glands... and I want to be in Italy.

We lost 2lbs thinking about joining Weight Watchers – will thinking harder lose us 4lbs?

Published 7 February 2008

We’d thought about joining Weight Watchers – an idea so scary we each lost 2lbs from the fright. So we skipped lunch and went out to celebrate.

The Antipodean daisy is a woman’s secret – which is why we all know about it, and why I’m telling you!

Published 31 January 2008

I’m not supposed to know she has a tattoo. She, who went up like a nuclear mushroom when her daughter came home from holiday with a fairy on her hip, has come back from Australia with a daisy on her foot.

Doing our best to beat the global credit crisis – one bargain at a time

Published 25 January 2008