Timekeeping is poor but shows promise at saving other planets

By Howard Cheeseman, secondary school teacher for 30 years

Last updated 16:30, Monday, 26 May 2008

Annual school report: Dr Who. Year 9. The Quantum Academy, Cassiopeia.

This has been a year marked by inconsistency for this pupil. Staff are finding his habit of transforming into ever new guises, considerably troublesome.

While his undoubted prowess at ICT and science shows a considerably higher level of achievement than expected for this Key Stage, his methods are eccentric and unorthodox.

Drama is also a strong point although he does have a tendency to exaggerate his characterisations.

He does, however, seem disinterested in the foreign languages on offer at this school, preferring such exotic tongues as Cyborgian and Dalekese. His history teacher has noted a marked reluctance to stick to the period under scrutiny but there has been a positive response to Citizenship in which, contrary to the apathy shown by some of his classmates, he frequently volunteers to save individuals, races of beings, planets and indeed even entire galaxies on occasions.

A major factor in his underachievement is his abysmal lateness for studies and frequently uncondoned absence. His excuse that he was three million light years away on the day of his Key Stage 3 SAT exams and that he could transport back to take them when he was less busy, was the culmination of his appalling attitude to timekeeping.

It is so easy to parody, isn’t it, but for us earthbound mortals, the school report can offer a useful form of feedback and be an important signpost in knowing how to make progress.

It is an educational snapshot that ideally should engage all in a teacher-parent-pupil dialogue.

The content of today’s school report is not the haphazard mixture it was in the past since it is now prescribed and regulated.

For all pupils you should expect to see comments on the progress made for each subject they study which will normally include highlighting strengths and outlining what they need to do to develop still further. In addition, apart from National Curriculum level information, you should be given a sense of how the pupil is doing in relation to other pupils in the same year.

A summary of pupil attendance for the period the report covers will also figure in the data presented.

For students in examination courses, you can expect to find current and predicted grades that relate to the qualification studied.

The demise of the handwritten report saw the end of the sort of thing I experienced at secondary school.

In my first year for Woodwork it was “Quite a good start”; by the second year it had become “Fair”; the third year, however, saw the ominous appearance of “Only fair”; and that was it really.

No explanation, no detail, no reasons.

The report that you now receive once a year is more than likely a collection of computer generated statements for a particular subject area that the teacher assembles in order to best fit the achievement of the pupil.

While this can speed up the process of writing reports, it can produce a text that is bland and lacking in personal insight.

At its best, report software allows the teacher to customise and create tailor-made comments that are more meaningful.

It would, I think, be a welcome addition to build in some alarm system every time clichéd or stock phrases were used – what does “Can work well...” actually mean for example?

Let us also hope that we can do better than the person who wrote of Gary Lineker: “He must devote less of his time to sport if he wants to be a success. You can’t make a living out of football.”