Happy families rely on getting that work life balance right. Easier said than done...

Last updated 11:31, Tuesday, 23 September 2008

Busy working parents have to make family time. But how do you get the balance of home/work life? I certainly struggle to get it right. These are some of the things I am trying to do in a desperate attempt to create better equilibrium in my hectic life:

I want to be great at my job and enjoy my career but what is most important to me is that I am a brilliant mummy and am there for my family.

I want to be a good wife, loving daughter, caring auntie, considerate daughter-in-law and special friend.

So how should I do it?

There certainly aren’t enough hours in the day and when I get home my next shift as mummy begins.

The weekends come and go, I feel guilty for not spending enough time with family and friends, I try to remember to phone loved ones regularly, I try to ensure my children have everything they need for school or nursery, the demands go on.

As I prepared to return to work after my second baby I vowed to try to get it right, the thought of racing home to see my boys and husband before 6pm made my stomach churn, the Sunday phone call to say who was off sick Monday morning, all the usual work related stressful issues that eat into your home time.

How often do you hear people (including yourself) complaining that they can’t seem to get the balance right?

Usually this is an indicator that work is taking over and they feel they don’t have enough time for themselves or their lives outside work.

But we are responsible for managing our own work-life balance, we let this happen and surely we can change things? But in a world of increasing pressure and work demands is it really possible?

Without balance pressure mounts. As the imbalance gets worse, guilt and stress build up. Not getting it right can affect you as an individual, your team and colleagues, your family and friends, so it really is important.

Start by accepting more responsibility for how you use or abuse your own time and realise the problems occur because you allow others to take control of your time.

To change life think about what the ideal would be (realistically).

Do you actually know what your ideal balance would be like?

Be specific about what you want for you, for work, friends and most importantly for time with family.

Have days where you eat as a family during the week in order to maintain some routines. It is often better to have less time together that is quality than to have more time together with less quality;

Learn to say no. Often we say yes because we think others will think badly of us if we say no but this isn’t always the case and sometimes it’s good to say no. Especially if you feel you can’t take any more on. Hopefully people will appreciate your honesty and respect you for it;

Ask family to babysit regularly so you can have child free time alone (I am terrible at asking so my family tell me, but I am getting better). We all need time as a couple, not just as Mummy and Daddy. My philosophy is that in order to be good parents you have to have regular “couple time”;

At weekends don’t have a house full of visitors, make set times, for example Saturday morning or afternoons, for visitors. Again say no sometimes. I always try to please everyone else often at the expense of family time.

If you are less stressed, more relaxed and focused it will have a much better effect on your children and family. I make a promise to my family that I will try really hard to follow my own advice.