Last updated 19:37, Thursday, 24 April 2008

So, we’re doing it. She’s doing it because she enjoys it – she’s good like that. I’m doing it because I’m a girl who can’t so “No” and she asked me to.

She knows what I’m like. It was easy for her to get the timing right, catch me unawares and tell me I was going to be doing it... with her.

“I’ve put our names down,” she said. “You’ll like it. I know you will – once you get going.

“You will do it, won’t you? It’ll be fun, really. It always is. Everybody loves it. So will you do it?”

“Well, I suppose... yes.”

See? I never was any good at cutting through the flannel to state my case against somebody else’s good idea. Neither have I ever been terribly adept at giving myself time to think things over.

When the correct, most sensible response should be: “Let me get back to you on that one,” I allow my heart to sink to my ankles and hear the echo of my own strangulated voice, as I say: “Yes.” or a grudging, “Go on then.”

So, we’re doing it. We’re midnight walking for Eden Valley Hospice in June, along with some 1,600 other women – a good 800 of whom I reckon will be girls who can’t say “No.”

It’s a good cause, that goes without saying.

It’s a grand event too, repeated all over the country by thousands of other women all raising funds for the specialised care of the terminally-ill. Nobody could take serious exception to any of that.

But in all honesty, I must confess I’ve managed to avoid it to press. Not by saying “No” but by deftly positioning myself anywhere but in the proximity of where the question might be put.

A keen supporter of the hospice in that other city, where I used to live, I even avoided it there. Six miles, you see; in the dark, probably in the rain, when by rights I should be in my bed, fast asleep...

“It’s not that far. Think of it as five times around Talkin Tarn.”

“At midnight? I’d never walk round the tarn at midnight!”

“No.”

“I wish I’d said that.”

I have a sneaking feeling that failure to turn down a challenge flat is essentially a woman thing.

Furthermore, I have a suspicion that some of the greatest achievements of some of the most special women who ever lived were made because they were scared of letting someone down or looking feeble. Like Marie Curie.

“Oh Marie, when you’ve a minute do you think you could invent us some x-rays. We know you’re busy and all but the lads are a bit pressed right now... you will, won’t you? No rush.

“Tomorrow morning will be fine.”

“Well, er... I suppose so, yes.”

Emmeline Pankhurst.

“Hi Emmeline, sorry to bother at teatime but if women are ever going to get the vote, we could do with someone to get into trouble quite a lot and go to prison a few times. You up for it?”

“Well, I’ve yet to finish hemming the drawing room drapes and the roses need pruning.”

“We appreciate you’re always terribly busy but we all agree you’d be perfect for Trevor McDonald’s Tonight programme on your second or third release. Fab publicity. Great cause and prison food is so good for the figure.”

“Oh, go on then. When do I start.”

Boudicca.

“Good morning Boo! How you doing? These Romans... bit of a pest. We were thinking. The chaps aren’t having much luck and since you have that smashing new chariot in your garage doing nothing, we wondered if you might see clear to give it an airing?

“You are fully comp, aren’t you?

“Yes, of course..”

“Great! Thanks – over to you, then.”

“I mean yes, I’m fully comp. But OK, if you insist.”

Not for a minute would anyone want to suggest that great women, making massive contributions to British and world history could or should be compared with a bunch of well-meaning girls going for a long walk at bedtime. But the principle holds.

Most women can be talked into doing most anything, if they’re persuaded they might have a chance of making a difference.

The midnight walk is a perfect illustration of the principle.

Some 1,600 women are right now wondering: “What should I wear? Will I need a brolly? What shoes should I put on to be comfy? Will my ankles swell? What time will I get home?”

But I guess that’s all perfectly natural and absolutely all right.

As every girl who can’t say “No” has on very good authority – Boudicca asked the self-same questions on the eve of every battle.