Last updated 15:39, Tuesday, 04 November 2008

IN THE spirit of “If you didn’t laugh, you’d cry”, a reader from the Far East has sent Reiver this Oriental take on the credit crunch...

“Following the problems in the sub-prime lending market in America and the run on Northern Rock, uncertainty has now hit Japan.

“Origami Bank has folded, Sumo Bank has gone belly up and Bonsai Bank announced plans to cut some of its branches.

“Karaoke Bank will likely go for a song while shares in Kamikaze Bank were suspended after they nose-dived.

“Samurai Bank are soldiering on following sharp cutbacks, Ninja Bank are reported to have taken a hit, but they remain in the black. Five-hundred staff at Karate Bank got the chop and analysts report that there is something fishy going on at Sushi Bank, where it is feared that staff may get a raw deal.”

And finally this quote, supposedly from a beleaguered City trader: “This is worse than a divorce. I’ve lost half my money and I still have a wife.”