The gloves are off...
Last updated 09:38, Saturday, 23 August 2008
GIVEN the sense of behind-the-scenes harmony that has prevailed at Brunton Park in recent times, it is our sad duty to report that two key United figures are now at each other’s throats.
The battleground is a set of weighing scales and the bitter rivals are assistant manager Greg Abbott and managing director John Nixon.
“It’s a competition to see who can lose the most weight and it’s a right ding-dong,” explains Abbott.
“I have to say it’s massively loaded in his favour because I’ve got a terrible eating disorder whereby I eat anything I can get my hands on.
“We’re having 10 monthly weigh-ins and whoever wins the most months, wins the bet. Needless to say, I’m already one month down.
“But I’ve told John it’s a long season and I’ll come into my own in the winter, because I know he’s a steak and kidney pie man, and a dumplings man. Having said that, I do like a chicken madras – that’s my achilles heel.”
Abbott described this furious contest whilst preparing breakfast (low-calorie, we presume), and laid down his knife and fork for long enough to add: “I’m feeling good about the next month. I can tell the weight is coming off even if the scales can’t.”
