Last updated 19:43, Thursday, 24 July 2008

THIS week, surprisingly, has included a fine and dry weekend. And with fine and dry weekends being few and far between this summer, it resulted in a pall of onion-scented smoke hanging over the area.

We get so little dry weather that it only takes one rain-free day to bring out the al fresco food fans in their hundreds.

You can’t get round the supermarket for shoppers clutching packs of beefburgers, sausages and those disposable aluminium trays on which to cook them.

There is something about the barbecue season which brings out the latent Jamie Oliver in men.

Those who never so much as torment a tomato at any other time of year eagerly don their novelty apron with the bra and suspenders motif at the first gleam of the sun.

Although they have to ask how to switch on the grill in the kitchen, once let loose on the barbecue they confidently brandish their special barbecue tools as they toss chops, chicken legs and sausages on to the charcoal.

So confident are they in their abilities that they invite friends and family round to enjoy the feast. Unfortunately, the weather doesn’t usually last, so they all end up sitting under a wind-tossed parasol like the Ewing family in a scene from Dallas.

Now I am not a fan of barbecues. If the food is cooked on a proper gas barbecue, there is no problem. But if your host is using one of those tiny metal trays, you have to wait ages for each piece of food. There can be a half hour gap between finishing a chicken drumstick and a lamb cutlet arriving on your plate, and by then the inevitable rumble of thunder drowns out the rumble from your stomach. You have to go home and have a proper meal.

Sometimes the ambience is completed by a patio heater - why? If it gets cold, just go inside - at least you’ll avoid the midges.